Life: Handle with Care

I went to a funeral this week.
It was the most recent in what is seemingly an unending string of such gatherings since my father's passing in 2005..... The essence of the latest homegoing was that I saw many people who have been a part of the "industry" for years, as have I....

As I looked around, I saw so many associates and friends who have been laboring in the entertainment industry for years....  Still looking the same, perhaps older and wiser....It was a completely reflective day.... A day that most will agree gave pause to take inventory of the value of life....

Tonite, I sit here in the dark, randomly prognosticating about life....  The gift of the Life..... The essence of life.... how valuable life is......

But what is life?

Sometimes we get caught up in our titles.... our jobs.... our positions here.... our status there.... but is that really what life is all about? We judge one another by the clothes we wear.... the cars we drive..... the complexion of our skin...... is that life? is that how we're living???

Even in our spiritual walk....  Is this the life we strive for even as the Word specifies life????

On the street, brothas in the hood battle even unto death over the color of a handkerchief..... is that life? of course not....

We work so hard towards material goals, but is that life??? We strive so diligently in pursuit of our careers... is that life?

Sometimes we rush to and fro in search of that which is most important (or not) in our lives... but is that thing really worth its place as center of our lives??

In recent times, I was in a season where I commuted more than 300 miles daily to and from work. I burned up two cars and was involved in a major accident in the third... I now had to walk from my house to the bus stop early in the morning. This bus would connect me to the trolley which would connect me to the AMTRAK train. If I missed that bus, my entire day's timeline would be destroyed..... ( if you are so inclined, you can relive my daily journey here...)

Every other day, there would be this elderly man on a scooter who caught the bus at my stop. And every other day, this guy would have a problem getting that darn scooter on the bus... We would have to wait while this old guy manuevered his scooter safely inside the bus- his problems often causing us to miss the trolley.... everyone on the bus would get an attitude when he was at the bus stop.

Even as folk would get an attitude with this guy, he would turn and apologize to everyone and offer everyone who would listen a butterscotch candy.... he would look each person in the eye and say hello.....

After a time. I began to talk to this man. I learned that he rode the bus because it was his only way of getting to his vital dialysis sessions.... He was up at the crack of dawn so he could get to the health center where he would have tubes probed into him all day. If he missed a session or two, he would face dire health issues....

"Hey man, I'm just trying to live" he says to me one day.....

Here I am, getting majorly angry with this guy whenever he came to the bus stop.... He was in my way... he was upsetting the delicate balance of my life.... He was in the way..... But in the real, he was living..... and living in this moment.....

Our time is appointed and anointed..... it is up to us to embrace the essence of life all around us.... promote the love that emanates from our hearts.... and celebrate the energy of our people and from whence we came....

We cannot re-do the past.... so live.....

We cannot control the future.... so live.....

We can only regulate the now, and even then only up to a point....

Each fleeting moment is a gift. Don't waste it.

No matter what the situation is, if you can breathe the breath of life, it is a gift....

Life. This moment in time.... is so precious.... so fragile.... so valuable.....

What will we do??? how will we live??? How do we treat others???

That is the individual choice of everyone in this world.... but one thing is sure....

Life is to be lived with love.......

Memoirs of a mega church member, part two

Wow... Bishop Eddie Long gets accused of sexual shenanigans with young men in his congregation.... Much has been written, reported, interviewed, said (or not), and otherwise presented throughout the international media... Only time and a fair justice system will reveal the truth as God already knows it....

He is not the first mega minister to be brought to shame before the world... and certainly he will not be the last. As much as we want our men of God to be blameless, we are reminded time and again that they are men, subject to character flaws, perversions and sin just like everybody else. This is not to make excuses for them, its just a fact. True, they are held to higher standards biblically because there is specific direction and criteria for those teaching, leading, and following men who stand before God's people representing HIM.
(Rom.14:16 ~ Rom.16:17-18 ~ 1Tim.~ 1:19-20 ~ 2 Tim. 2:17 ~

Phil 4:2 ~ Col. 4:17 ~ 3 Jn.9-10") "

Thus the result of the scandal cuts deep. Our trust in the institution of church is severely violated when the leader falls. And while the sensationalism that comes with the accusation is contagious, the instance of scandal makes one pause to contemplate one's membership, loyalty and history of following the mega church.... At some point one has to pragmatically look at stories like Long's and other similar episodes in order to balance their view of church folkways and mores.....

As a member of a mega church (NOT New Birth... I'm out west....), I love the many good works we are able to do.... we love the leader's international involvements.... we love the leader's local impact, we love and support his influence across social and political boundaries... we love the way the bible and a Christian lifestyle is articulated in our church. We have labored and built to become a force for good in the community, indeed the world...

Around the City, the vibe of folk who attend these mega-ministries have the same type of pride and love for the involvements of the leader...  Especially those who have attended the church for a long time - those who have witnessed the growth of the church and the pastor. The sense that you are part of something powerful, righteous and stands for good becomes an integral part of your lifestyle. We are an example of Jesus' love in the community and the world...

Plus the access to study the word of God is on a deep level. 

I would be deeply damaged to hear my spiritual leader caught up in some madness like Bishop Long, but yet, Long's issues remind me that no matter what, these guys are just men... subject to mess up... just like all of us... And while I really appreciate what the man of God has shown me and encouraged me to integrate into my life, the most important lesson that I can take away from his spiritual counsel is that God is....

God is more than the man in the pulpit.
God is more than this magnificent edifice we have saved and invested in through the building fund...
God is more than the denomination, if any, the ministry, the rules, traditions and processes of the work....
God is more than all of it....While we adore these men, they are,.... just that. Men.

Yet, across the Body of Christ, we have various visceral reactions to the news of possible misconduct from the man of God... from shock to awe..... a closer look will reveal that he is not the first.... and most probably will not be the last.... the result and effect hurts not only the victims of the deeds, but the masses of the people who have said yes.. I will follow and help you build...

The news of scandal causes members of other mega churches to consider "what if...?"

That's when we have to remember that your ultimate relationship is with God Almighty through Jesus Christ... That's it, that's all... He will be there for you just like he was before your fabulous 5000 - 10000 seat sanctuary.... He will be there after the sanctuary is gone... He will be there in the midst of scandal.... He will be there... He will be there as he protects your congregation or He will be there as he reveals the dark secrets of sin..... He will be there.....

The ultimate challenge of the mega-church member is to take a self-inventory and ask if we caught up in the ceremony of church? Are we caught up in the essence of our pastor, the mega church? Or do we take to heart our relationship with God....  Do we walk with humility or are we puffed up from some false superiority complex just because we belong to a large church....

In the end, we have to remember it's all about our relationship with the Almighty and not the religion of our mega church experience... We honor the men leading our various institutions, but at the end of the day it's all about Jesus.... that's it, that's all.

Bishop Eddie Long..... A violation of trust

 

By now, we've all heard the stories of  Bishop Eddie Long.... four guys have filed suit claiming a wide range of complaints from sexual coercion to oral sodomy...

whoa...

Bishop Eddie Long is one of America's foremost black church leaders with New Birth Missionary Baptist Church ranking among the top mega-churches in the nation. More than 25,000 people are members at New Birth. His ministry is widely respected.

I learned of the scandal as I was browsing CNN.com... Breaking News... The plaintiff's attorney was holding a press conference and detailing the how's and wherefores of the case she just filed. I was shocked! My mind went to all the rumours and criticisms I had heard about Eddie Long.... I found a copy of the actual court documents and learned the specific nature of the complaints.

Rituals? Spiritual Sons? Singled out as special from the rest of the youth? wow.... Trips, gifts, sleeping in the same bed? what in tarnation???

I wonder how the members feel about these accusations.. what do they feel? so many people have come to redemption inside this church... The thousands who have put the drugs down, the crime, the transgressions of life... all through the work of this church and under the ministry of this man.... I think you'd agree that the work of the Lord has gone forth boldly through the people of the Lord at New Birth.... how hurt they must be.

I wonder how the auxiliary leaders, laypersons, deacons and deaconesses, ushers, missionaries, Sunday school.... how do they feel? Oh yes, publicly they stand for the Bishop as evidenced by the pandemonium that took place in church on Sunday (9/26)... yes, they praise and dance in support of the Bishop... But did Bishop really put their mind at ease? Or did he ignite the ceremony of church to the degree that folk could be anesthetized to the non-statement made from the pulpit??? Did he use the mega church theatrics to divert focus from those needing something to hold on to??

I know folk want to hear something to cling to as they move forth to defend their Bishop but what do you mean, I'm not perfect?.....  Sounds like you did something!

Now, this could be a fraud on many fronts....
first, the plaintiffs could be some flaky cats out for some loot. This could be a shakedown as Bishop Long's staff has claimed. But dag, he sent photos to them!! suspect...

Or, it seems that there are forces out there who are moving to discredit the power brokers of  Black America (we've seen accusations just this year of misdoings from black politicals, and now black clergy)  I'm just sayin'... c'mon y'all know it's possible!!! (COINTELPRO) OK, sorry, its just the conspiracy theorist in me...

Or Bishop Eddie Long has built a mega-ministry over the years but kept hidden his sexual preferences from the masses ... even as he publicly campaigns against such behavior....

By and sure, we will see the truth. The truth will be revealed as the plaintiffs back down from their story, or the Bishop admits his role in these charges, or the truth will be implied - after he pays off the plaintiffs.....

But at that time, who will heal the laypersons??? how do they rectify their service in their hearts and minds... and how does the man of God come to their aid. After all, a great trust has been violated....

Nigga, Please!! A Tragic Etymology

So, Dr. Laura sets off controversy as she rants about race while on the air. She's got a caller on the air and uses the "N-word" some eleven times. On the Air. dag....

And now she quits over the controversy, announcing that she will end her radio program at the end of the year... Here's the story ....

This conversation is not new.  Nigga.... Nigger. Generationally speaking, the interpretation of the word sparks either vile vibrations of a racist society, or a sense of endearment among the brethren in the 'hood.

The following is an extrapolation of a blog I posted back in 2006. I posted the blog in response to a news story I found online from WHAS=TV in Louisville. The station no longer carries the story on their site, but the general story was as follows:

Keysean Chavers was a freshman at Valley High School in Louisville, KY. He's a Boy Scout, a football player, a member of the ROTC, and an honor roll student. One day, he was hanging around his teacher’s classroom door. According to Paul Dawson, the teacher, Keysean used the word Nigga as he told him to sit down...

“I was just kind of stunned for a second and I said, 'Well then, get away from the door, niggaz.' I repeated the same insult because that was sort of what I was trained to do.” said Mr. Dawson, who's been a teacher in the Jefferson County School District for over 20 years... Yes, believe it... the teacher told the student to "get away from the door, NIGGA!!!"

Several of the students interviewed during the course of the school's investigation did not hear Keysean say the "n" word first and Dawson says students use the slang version of the word at Valley High School all the time. According to the WHAS report, Dawson says “nigger” is a racial slur but says students use “nigga” as often as they say "dude" or "hey, man.” Dawson says as much as he doesn't like the word, he still used the slang version to feel more comfortable with black students. “Why is this word used so frequently? So I just don't understand it and I’m trying to understand it,” Dawson says. “I need help.”

Dawson was suspended for 10 days without pay.

Young Keysean and his mom are outraged and feel the 10-day suspension is not harsh enough.. They want the teacher's job. Representatives of the black community are up in arms and the Urban League is calling for the teacher's job.. They are calling the use of the word by the teacher a racist incident...

So let's take a step back and examine this story. The issue is a by-product of the modern urban culture. The teacher is absolutely correct when he says that the kids use NIGGA as a term of endearment.. Listen to your teens.. They are going to greet each other "What's up my nigga?" or "That's my Nigga". Or as the teacher explains in the news report "Can you lend a nigga a pencil?" (that was hilarious to me).. Even white teens are calling each other nigga... Latinos, Asians... (I wonder in the teen sub-culture, does a young white teen who gravitates toward hiphop, call his black friends "my nigga"?) Young people will quickly explain to you that NIGGER is the offensive word and is cause to get your butt whupped if you utter it...

In hiphop music, nigga is one of the main lyrics in songs... One of my favorite hiphop joints is from the classic cd by Tribe Called Quest called Midnight Marauders.                                                                             

One of the tracks "Hey Sucka Nigga" attempts to explain the etymology of the word nigga and why the hiphop generation uses it as a term of endearment. I've had conversations with my college interns about the use of the word and they attempt to make me understand that if you say NIGGA or NIGGA, then you are using hip, urban slang and describing a friend or a cool person. However, if you say NIGGER and with a tinge of hatred and disdain in your inflection, then you are being racist.

This is the modern state of a word that has caused death and destruction for generations of our people. The use of the word is derogatory and our relatives and friends from the south can especially remember exactly how the word is used. I can distinctly remember being called nigger at my high school even as we were bused to school - a byproduct of Dr. King's Dream... I can remember being called filthy nigger by whites while I served in the United States Marine Corps... I can remember being called an "affirmative action nigger" by jealous white folk as I moved up the ladder inside a bank where I used to work

I cannot condone the use of the word personally, and I do not know if we can stop the use as described above by our young people. And because our image drives American urban culture, folk are confused with how or when or not,,, to use the word. Why are we offended when white people use the word, but ok when we use it against or with each other.
On the other hand... I agree with Chris Rock when he says "I LOVE Black People, but I HATE Niggas...."( or is it Niggers???)

Should Dr. Laura quit? I suppose. But instead of getting ready to march, let's take this time to examine our culture. Why is this word so pervasive in our culture? Why are the young people using it so frequently? Why are young people killing one another? Why are the scores in the schools so low? why are we going to jail so frequently? Why is the music so self debasing, misogynistic, and violent? How did we get so hung up on material things? How did pimpin' get so glorified?? What's up with the gang bangers? Crime, health.. These are the questions of import within our culture..

No, Dr. Laura should not have used the word, no matter her intent, no way, no how, in any interpolation.. But she is perplexed. She turns her TV on and sees the comedians, the rappers and some films using the word frequently and profusely. She is confused.......

Yes, the music promotes it... we, by our very actions deny our children the knowledge of the history of this word and other negative descriptors of ourselves...

Before we get so up in arms about this issue, let's start in our own community and remove the word from our cultural vernacular... Let's keep our community safe, clean and promote higher learning and spiritual growth at every turn... Once we do that, we will overcome....