The Holiday season is here... and at this point in my life, more than ever, I am contemplating the essence of family. Yes, these are the days we are supposed to get together and love on one another.... These are the days that loved ones come from all over to fellowship, bond and promote familial solidarity.
All I see across Black American Cultural dialogue is the bemoanment of the black man... I see how sistas have this totally negative view of who the man is and what the man should be. I see daughters and sons frustrated because the father is not around, but I have to ask, how much of your frustration is centered in how the mother has portrayed who your father is and how much of it is because you have come to know your dad for yourself. Or how much of it is because of the grown child's own level of trifling view of the world??
Should Dad keep coming to see you on holidays only to get dissed and disrespected by the mother? Should Dad keep travelling to get the children only to find the mother has left purposely, leaving the dad scratching his head in amazement and finding absolutely NO JUSTICE in the Family Law courts.... yes, when it comes to the man, he is the enemy. Yea, but all that is ancient history. Now that the child is grown, I am receiving mixed signals... She says she loves me, but lies and shows blatant disrespect. In the blended family, I cannot remember a time where we got together to break bread and love on one another even as sacrifices have been made time and time again for thier well being.
These days, in this holiday season, I reflect. How is it that when one tries to do good, he is dissed and vilified...
I stand as a man of honor.... my faith is strong and I walk with the knowledge of salvation and sanctification. I have the stock of an honorable man... My Mother raised and educated an honorable, moral man and yet, I continue to hear and see a level of disrespect that seems unfathomable...
I have cooked complete Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with the full expectation that those "loved ones" are coming over to eat and fellowship. No one showed. This is not anomaly.... This has happened more than four or five times... Even with my blended family.... loved ones do not show... they sit and wait for me to reach out.... Immediate relatives tell me one thing and do another. Lies.
And when I take inventory, I cannot really see any reason for this disrespect. So the only conclusion I can draw is that they really do not love me. I show them love, sacrificing whatever I may to help them, but they show me nothing. nada... zilch. These are not the actions of those who love and honor their father.
And so this year, I see that as I step forth to do that which I have done time and time again... I am advancing insanity. and in the words of Benjamin Franklin: The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect the same result. This has got to stop. Now.
I rebuke insanity and turn unto my self and my God..... I refuse to keep getting hurt. I am a good man. I know it and God knows it. Who are y'all to keep dissing me?? who are you to turn away the love of a father?
Today, I move towards who I am as a man.... leaving behind the insecurities and insanity of those that would say they love me but really do not. I submit to the will of God and move to do his will... I step away from the insanity of disrespect. the indifference. the insanity of the misguided.
I move to that which the Lord would have me do... all things that are not tantamount to that.... does not matter.