Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Contemplations of tanning gone bad....

So can anyone tell me what the deal is here??? How does one aim to toast themselves to a crisp.... this is not tan... this is self abuse.... and what is her fascination with darker skin....??? couldn't she be pleased with what God gave her??

Tell me what you think!!!

Monday, May 28, 2012

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Contemplations of Spanking: An old school perspective

Boy oh boy, at this age, I am seeing more and more edits to those moral values that we were taught. The social rules and boundaries have changed drastically. What used to be ok back in the day, is frowned upon today.

Spanking your children is one such issue.

We have been told that spanking your child is wrong and can have severe, long lasting psychological effects on your children. In fact, to do so, is against the law and can cause much interference, inconvenience and stress in your life. Why? Because if your child tells their school officials that you spanked them, then the police are called and the local child services agencies are inserted in your life. wow......

Question to self: with all the whuppins I got, Am I psychologically damaged and just don't know it?? After all, didn't mom administer whuppins and then come back and tell you that she loved you?? and what you did was wrong?? and that she did not want to whup you? (:don't make me go get my paddle" "don't make me come in there!!")

i can remember quite vividly, momma, auntie, grandma and 'nem administering a sound whuppin when we did wrong. I can remember being petrified when we were told to "wait till your father gets home",,,, because that was a whuppin for sure.... 

I am a grandparent caregiver. I am of that generation of people who are having to raise their children's children. In more and more cases, drugs, general irresponsibility, teenage pregnancy, bad life decisions or the basic disintegration of the family unit has caused the grandparent to step in to be mother and father of the babies.... We gotta do what we gotta do. I am also of that generation that says in the area of child discipline, there are whuppable offenses. But now, if you whup 'em, the school can and will, call the police and the appropriate child services entity on you.


In my opinion, and particularly in the case of raising boys, from a black perspective,  the nation has programmed itself to project how many young men will be in the prison system in years to come. They begin monitoring boy's behavior in the third grade. From this data, they can project how much prison space they will need. I'm trying to keep my boys in line before they get there... I will be doggone if they are going to be consumed by the system in this way. And if spanking them is part of that then spanking them I will.

I have noticed that once the child realizes that the parent is reluctant to administer corporal punishment, he is emboldened.... empowered.... the system has actually given power to the child. And they will try you....

The system is saying that they would rather allow immoral and unruly behavior than allow you to put your smack hand down on these kids. If junior sets a fire at school or steals or wreaks general havoc and refuses to complete his academics, then it's ok. They just want you to put them on time out.....  

man.... shoot........ I believe in spankings. With Love......

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Contemplations of Gay Marriage & Homosexuality

Ok. So in these days and time, tolerance is demanded of us. We live in a free and open society, so we have liberty to do and be anything we want to be within reason and certainly within the law. We can walk anywhere we want. We can work anywhere we want. We can worship anywhere we want. We can love anyone we want, regardless of color and nowadays gender.

The latter has forced us to re-align our moral compasses and be more tolerant of those who choose to love the same sex. Homosexuality has always been a taboo in our society and particularly in the African American culture, the same-sex preference is severely shunned. For me personally, I am not with the whole gay thing and it has been a monumental movement of God to make me more "tolerant". I cannot judge the homosexual because my spiritual guide will not allow me to do so. I am a Christian and the Bible tells me that the act of homosexuality is a sin. Unnatural. An abomination. It further tells me that I cannot judge those who participate in the act of homosexuality.

Hey! don't get mad with me. I am just trying to live a spiritual lifestyle. And the bible is my compass. Am I perfect? nope. But also with the way I was raised, my center of consciousness tells me that normal sexual relationships are between man and woman. This natural inclination in my soul is supported by the Bible. I won't go Bible thumping here but one can just read the following to see the biblical basis that says homosexuality is sin. (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26, I Corinthians 6:9, I Timothy 1;8-11,)

With the era of tolerance it seems that the homosexual is more and more prevalent in the nation and most definitely in the black community. I am not sure if they were there all along or with increased tolerance,  more have chosen the lifestyle. I do know that I see them more. They are more celebrated on television culture (Real Housewives of Atlanta, Rupaul's Drag Race, Miss J on America's Top Model and on and on). I see more open gay people in the 'hood. It is not uncommon these days for women to refer to another woman as their wife. Even in the church, there are more and more gay people.... in the choir stand. The gospel industry is full of gays, so much so that the renowned Gospel Music Workshop of America Convention is a known magnet for gay people. Gays have demanded their rights and tolerance is the order of the day... and with tolerance and openness comes power. Political power.

The latest conversation is regarding the right for homosexuals to marry. It is a heated debate. There are those who desire the same rights and privileges as heterosexual couples. They say that the marriage/union is just as valuable as those male/female marriages. And so they demand the right to be recognized.

In my mind, the institution of marriage is holy. It is a vow before God. It is biblical (Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh - Genesis 2:24). It is traditional.

Whereas the same sex marriage cannot be holy. The couple cannot vow before God because God's law already forbids homosexuality. and it is not biblical. The marriage of the same sex cannot be blessed in biblical standards because the very nature of same sex is adverse to what God has prescribed in his Word. God has also been very specific in saying that I cannot judge those who practice same sex relations.

And so the debate rages. It has been the subject of electoral propositions and statutes. And most recently President Barack Obama expressed his support for the right of gays to marry just like he supports the right for gays to openly serve in the military. President Obama is obviously for gay rights.

But for me, the issue is not political. My opposition to gay marriage is based on my moral center which I have built from biblical standards. It is not at all political. If they change the laws to allow gay marriage, I object. But I object based on what my faith dictates marriage is to be. Not by what some lawmaker says. Lawmakers can change and amend laws as they see fit... but the law of God remains steadfast forevermore.... The government can come and go, but the law of God remains the same.

Do I judge my gay brethren and sistren? I heard a preacher say recently that "The Bible speaks against the practice of the sin(homosexuality), it does not speak against the person." And so I must love the people who practice homosexuality. Not judge them. Just as Jesus loves them. .

Gay lifestyle? Gay marriage? I disagree with it all. But I cannot judge. For political reasons? no. For moral reasons? yes. it is adverse to my consciousness.

Regarding gay marriage, Mr. President, I respectfully disagree. But my disagreement comes from my moral center. Not my political consciousness. It is a spiritual and moral battle. Not a political statute. Not judging. Just saying.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Contemplations of Chivalry

And so today I am contemplating the notion of chivalry... is it dead?  I was raised to respect and protect the woman... particularly the black woman. I was taught from an early age to hold doors open, allow the female to walk through a door first, open the car door for women, treat women with a measure of respect... you know, give up your seat on the bus or train type stuff.... this was drilled into me from puberty until I left the nest.
And now as a mature man, I wonder if women even recognize the chivalrous actions of the man. I mean do they really appreciate the fine art of chivalry. Recently I was at church. And as I entered the cathedral, there were several sistas coming into church behind me... it was my natural instinct to hold the door open for them. As I did, all of the women walked through, but NOT ONE uttered a word of thanks... just left me there holding the door like I was the doggone doorman....

is chivalry dead???
I was riding the bus recently (hey I am experimenting trying to find a few ways to save on gas....)... a lady came onto the bus and there were no more seats... I lifted my tired behind up and offered her the seat. She took it, but uttered NOT A WORD of thanks.... In fact, she looked at me with this sense of entitlement and expectancy that quite frankly left me feeling belittled and weak.

And it's not just the sistas... I was downtown in a building for a meeting... elevator opened and even though I was the first one at the elevator, I paused to allow the ladies from another mother who came behind me to get on first... they walked on, never giving me a thank you, an acknowledgement of my courtesy. In fact, once we got on the elevator, a couple of them seemed nervous. You know how they do... it was a shock to know that not only did they not recognize chivalry, they were nervous to be on the elevator with a brotha. I'm here to remind you that Jim Crow, slavery and all that are over... it's a new day!!!

I'm not in need of so much acknowledgement that women need to kiss my feet, but when a man steps in his chivalry role, then females ought to recognize. A simple thank you will do. But then again, perhaps chivalry is dead and these actions are just a sign of the times.....

Is chivalry dead?