Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Contemplations of Chivalry

And so today I am contemplating the notion of chivalry... is it dead?  I was raised to respect and protect the woman... particularly the black woman. I was taught from an early age to hold doors open, allow the female to walk through a door first, open the car door for women, treat women with a measure of respect... you know, give up your seat on the bus or train type stuff.... this was drilled into me from puberty until I left the nest.
And now as a mature man, I wonder if women even recognize the chivalrous actions of the man. I mean do they really appreciate the fine art of chivalry. Recently I was at church. And as I entered the cathedral, there were several sistas coming into church behind me... it was my natural instinct to hold the door open for them. As I did, all of the women walked through, but NOT ONE uttered a word of thanks... just left me there holding the door like I was the doggone doorman....

is chivalry dead???
I was riding the bus recently (hey I am experimenting trying to find a few ways to save on gas....)... a lady came onto the bus and there were no more seats... I lifted my tired behind up and offered her the seat. She took it, but uttered NOT A WORD of thanks.... In fact, she looked at me with this sense of entitlement and expectancy that quite frankly left me feeling belittled and weak.

And it's not just the sistas... I was downtown in a building for a meeting... elevator opened and even though I was the first one at the elevator, I paused to allow the ladies from another mother who came behind me to get on first... they walked on, never giving me a thank you, an acknowledgement of my courtesy. In fact, once we got on the elevator, a couple of them seemed nervous. You know how they do... it was a shock to know that not only did they not recognize chivalry, they were nervous to be on the elevator with a brotha. I'm here to remind you that Jim Crow, slavery and all that are over... it's a new day!!!

I'm not in need of so much acknowledgement that women need to kiss my feet, but when a man steps in his chivalry role, then females ought to recognize. A simple thank you will do. But then again, perhaps chivalry is dead and these actions are just a sign of the times.....

Is chivalry dead?

1 comment:

Merlene Jita Holsey said...

No Chivalry is not dead! I respect man that is a gentleman and wouldn't have any other kind. I always acknowledge them whenever they are. The ones that are not gentleman (i.e. opening the door, walking on the outside near the curb, pulling the chair out, the whole bit...) are a turn off!
Don't give up on being a gentleman just because some people are too blind to recognize you are being the gentleman you were taught to be. Next time, just look at them and say, you're welcome. Maybe they'll wake up and stop being rude.